I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
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