Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
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