wanna go halves on a baby?
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
Randomize
