final count. 18 beers. 4 shots baileys. 2 shots vodka. 1 glass champagne. vomited in the yard after losing my phone in a field for 8 hours. Possibly played tag with myself
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
The struggles of a small town man whore
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
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