Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
Randomize