so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
Randomize
