...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
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