If Curt Schilling could pitch a game with that blood-filled sock... if Tiger Woods won the 2008 US Open with a torn ligament, then I'd be an embarrassment to the human race if I couldn't manage to at least jerk him off even if I was still crying after he put it in my butt.
A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
You bought champagne and told everyone it was because I'd just found out I was pregnant. How exactly is that being a good wingman?
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
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