that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
Heard at work: Get out of my face before I cuntpunch you so hard your granddaughters have miscarriages. I love my job.
I'm moving there. Get me hired.
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
Randomize
