why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
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