is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
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