Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
Randomize
