So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit."
If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
Randomize
