I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
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