In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
