make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
Alive.
So much puke
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
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