I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
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So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
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I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
Soon to be ex is nowhere to be found. Her attorney/new BF just showed up. 30 minutes late looking hungover. Pretty sure I'm getting the kids AND the house!
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