Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
Randomize
