Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
Randomize