Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
Randomize
