hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi
ok, stay where you are, be there soon
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
And then he peed in my hair
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