Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
I can't trust your balls anymore.
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
Randomize
