Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
A+ Viking dick
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
Randomize
