Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
Randomize
