Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
Randomize
