It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
do nipples grow back?
Randomize
