i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
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