Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
I said ACK before Andy Samberg made it even remotely funny. That tool is stealing all my lines.
Yeah, you've definitely been jizzing in your pants years before he made it socially acceptable
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
Randomize
