There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
Randomize
