If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
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