I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
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