I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
Showing up at the grocery store at 5am to have the clerk sprint to the condom cabinet waiving the keys because you told him to hurry it was an emergency
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
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