this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
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