stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Randomize
