It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
And then he peed in my hair
Randomize
