Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
Let's get the cat blown out
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
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