I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
Randomize
