Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
Randomize
