Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
Randomize
