I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
Randomize
