and you said cock pushups were impossible
dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
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