You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
Farmville is her only friend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
He sent me a snapchat of himself growing a double chin. I think we're past the stage where there's any risk of us sleeping together. Ever.
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
Randomize