i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
got weed?
I'm really tired of you accidentally texting me when your doing illegal things. I'm taking away your phone.
sorry mom...
love makes seman taste better
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
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