yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
Randomize
