what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
Randomize
