can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
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