No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
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