The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?
he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?
update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
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