Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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