Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know why nobody comes up with Sober October? Other than it's Oktoberfest? Because Sober October doesn't benefit anyone, just like your judgment isn't benefiting me. I'll talk to you in November. Unless you make up another alcoholless month.
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
Randomize