i'm stoned. there's a jazz trio playing outside across the street...scared that mike myers will appear & start yelling 'woman...WHOA MAN. WHOOOA MAN.' i'm snapping my fingers.
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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