I'm going to get drunk on champagne by myself.
Oh no wait my cat's here. Thank god for a second there I sounded really sad.
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize
