if i get killed by an online date, its your job to tell my parents that we met at church
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
Randomize