Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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