And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
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