trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
I think I just shit out all my problems.
Randomize
