We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
Randomize
