Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
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