Passed out watching pirates of caribbean with vodka in hand. Woke up to jenna jameson, with vodka gone.
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
Randomize