Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
Randomize
