You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
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