Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
Randomize
