So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
Randomize
