Bisexual people are plain selfish.
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
