I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
Randomize
